Fear

When people make the assumption that men don't have feelings-that's totally false!

We express our joy when our favorite team wins a game or championship. We show how angry we are when someone disrespects us or our family. However, we've been conditioned not to express our sadness over heartbreak. We have been trained not show the hurt or wounds of a broken heart. So, in this post I will attempt to share some steps to emotional freedom that I've Experienced. 

Fear

When we look at fear, we either fear what we don't know or the pain from the past that we've been through. While teaching a class I've heard my students say, “I'm gifted in this area of my life, but I'm scared that if I don't pick this career I won't make the money I want or need to make”. Then I've heard students say “I can't choose this major or career because I've seen people fail.” So, in essence fear causes a person not to try. Fear, will have a person stuck and comparing. 

So, you may ask, "how does that relate to my relationship"? Well I'm glad you asked.  In moving on in one’s life you have recognize the gift that lies within even if it goes against what you’re used to or what others are used to. Fear causes you to see yourself from another person’s eyes as opposed to how you see yourself. 

Secondly, fear causes you to compare your current situation to your previous situation, which is connected to pain or heart break. Have you ever been in a new relationship with a person but they remind you of the qualities of a person in a previous relationship. In Musiq SoulChild's 2002 album Juslisen he penned a song called “Previous Cats”, where in the first verse he says:  

"First things first girl recognize

Who is wit you now

Second thing, can't blame me for

How you were treated before I came see

I'm not Steven, Anthony even, Leroy or Ivan

Damn girl I've been right there for you

Since day one, so where's all this coming from"

As you can see there is pain that this young lady is holding on to that has her stuck in the past; she  can't embrace the moment, which is the now.  This is what fear does -  it causes one to revert to the past even though the “now” is embracing you.  

So, how do you deal with the fear? 

Musiq says it,

"First recognize where you're at.

Secondly, stop blaming the past. 

If I can call out a third it would be to embrace your present moment.